I find myself in the middle of an intersection between feeling awfully depressed when I come visit toledo and feeling at home. Its been a while since I have actually felt home in this city, but there is still something that draws me here like I am somewhat apart of this history. No matter whereI am in the city me or my family has some sort of connection. I drove around by myself quietly for over an hour today re-recognizing streets and businesses I was more familiar with years ago. For all the talk and down trodden conversation of the city one should be surprised at the number of small businesses that are open. The fact that one can venture around whole areas of the city with not a sight of a single fast food chain is refreshing. Though the paint is pealing, the streets dangerously cracked, and windows boarded up around every corner, there are people and places to go and parks to walk through.

I've been talking for the last who knows how many years that I would like to return to toledo and focus on community organizing. Is this realistic? pressumably yes, but I wonder if I will have the creativity and ambibition to keep myself as happy as I assume I deserve. I wonder about community, and the availability of like minded individuals. Really this shouldn't be an issue. I ought to be able to fit in a community and understand it as my own, disregarding political and social beliefs. Community is about support and appreciation, it doesn't take another white young radical female to provide me with support. If I give support, I will get support. end of story.

I have found myself increasingly interested in reading blogs of other people. In fact I become slightly unnerved when a blog I enjoy reading goes unattended for a day or two leaving me wanting more, so I'm going to do it myself.. to experience the other found joy in writing the blogs. We'll see how far it gets. I've never been that much of a writer. I'll try to filter my head.